


I Hate This Place

by SilentJo



Series: Silent Jo's Original Works (aka r/WritingPrompts inspired this shit) [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Explicit Language, Gen, Magical Girl Mechas, Mecha, POV First Person, Parody, Sarcasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:48:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentJo/pseuds/SilentJo
Summary: You are an average person (accountant, plumber, etc.) living in an anime universe. You hate it.*This story is inspired by this writing prompt.
Series: Silent Jo's Original Works (aka r/WritingPrompts inspired this shit) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566784
Kudos: 3





	I Hate This Place

"These bastards have no regard for the position they put us in, do they?" I muttered sourly as I surveyed the scene of destruction before me.

"Well, it's not like they do it on purpose you know. In the current state Tokyo is in, avoiding confrontations with those giants is impossible." Steve replied. The guy always had a habit of being annoyingly optimistic. As the new guy in the Tokyo Reconstruction Aid Project, TRAP, he just hadn't dealt with having to watch as the Terror in Tokyo Sisters, also known as TITS, fought against the Aerospace Synergy Symbiotes, otherwise known to us as ASS, as long as some of us other construction workers. Seeing the same buildings and cityscapes that you rebuild get destroyed over and over would make anyone sick of their job, and the world in general. I give it at least three more jobs and Steve will be just as sick of this shit as I am.

"The least they could do is try to lure the ASS to the countryside. At least there we wouldn't have to deal with building permits and the Inspection department. Do they have any idea how much time gets put into repairing the cities?"

Steve scribbled down some measurements down on his clipboard as he estimated the materials necessary for this job. "I dunno Dave, look on the bright side. At least we have a city left to fix. Plus, seeing the TITS come out with their giant Magical Girl mechas is pretty impressive. You ever happen to be at ground level when one of them is approaching an ASS? Talk about the ultimate panty shot!"

Oh great, Steve's not only a newbie but also a fanboy as well. This is really gonna be my whole day, isn't it...

"No, Steve I haven't had the pleasure of checking out the mecha panties. Unfortunately, I was closer to the area where the ASS landed in the last attack. I'm sure you're aware which part of the male anatomy their model structure is based on. That old saying 'if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you' isn't just a catchy phrase, trust me. There's no amount of therapy that could clear out my brain and eyes from that ungodly image."

We continued our surveying and estimate gathering over the area to be reconstructed. Steve managed to make himself useful on the other side of the site, which gave me the chance to silently sulk in peace.

A familiar whistling sound caught in my ears, causing my eyes to instinctively roll. "You've gotta be fucking kidding me, again? AGAIN?!" I yelled as I searched the sky for the source of that damn noise. I caught sight of it in the air in the direction South East of where we were. I watched as the ASS clapped loudly against the ground, sending dust and debris into the air for hundreds of feet in each direction.

Steve ran over to me, looking bewildered as I should have expected from the new guy. "Another ASS invasion so soon, Dave?"

"Yeah Steve, that looks to be the way of it. Just do yourself a favor and... OH GOD, it's bending over! LOOK AWAY STEVE, AVERT YOUR FUCKING EYES!!" I screamed as I fell to my knees and hugged my arms over my eyes. The scream I heard next could only mean that Steve didn't manage to look away in time and caught the brunt of the ASS's Ultimate Form, the Fruit Basket. There was no saving him now.

"Goddammit I hate this fucking place, I fucking hate it here!" I cried out to myself as I carefully uncovered my eyes to make sure the ASS had completed its formation and was no longer exposing its exhaust valve. As the dust settled I realized that the place that it landed was the office complex that we had finished only three weeks ago.

Just as I was about to scream out a few more obscenities emphasizing how much I hate this place, another familiar sound echoed through the area, behind where I had been kneeling. The cute girly laughter was enough to make me want to shove the surrounding rebar and shattered asphalt into my ear canals. That could only mean that the TITS had been brought out to deal with the ASS over there. I turned around to see a pair of TITS in a fighting stance. Their giant metal forms were modeled after the busty teenaged high school girls that were no doubt piloting them. I'm sure their fathers must be very proud of them, if they were still around that is.

"Sure, go on ahead, save humanity from another ASS blasting, or whatever." I half-heartedly mumbled as the TITS took off after their ASS opponent. One of the mechas, sporting a ridiculous pink twin tail, ran close by where I stood. It slowed to a halt near me and let the other TITS bounce ahead.

"I almost didn't see you there Dave! I'm glad we found you in time. We're going to need your help with this ASS." A high pitched female voice I didn't recognize said through the communications system on the TITS lingering above me.

"Uhhmm, help with what exactly? I'm just a regular construction worker trying to repair all the damage you TITS make fighting those ASS clowns!"

The girl within the TITS replied, "We're sorry for the trouble and destruction we tend to leave behind as we fight that alien menace. You are a member of the Tokyo Reconstruction Aid Project, are you not?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure why that's relevant here though."

"Because Dave, the constant work repairing the city through the Project has been preparing you to join our fight. We have a prototype that needs a pilot, and since our records show that you have been with the Project the longest, you are the most qualified to fill that role."

"Why would my job make me the best candidate to pilot a mecha?"

The female mecha giggled, "Because what better way to fight against an ASS than to use a TRAP!"

I fucking hate this place.


End file.
